Dear Tito

Dear Tito,

It's been a day since you left us and you left us with tears overflowing on our faces. 

I spent almost half of my childhood in your home and you treated me as your daughter--as a sister to your only daughter. She is my cousin, my sister, my best friend. She's the only one who knows things about me more than my sisters know.

During Sundays you will bring me in your parents' house and I equally received the gifts your parents gave their grandchildren. I did not feel different because I was welcomed, I could freely roam around the house and play carelessly in the garden. 

As I grew up, you told me things about school, about the industry you're in and the industry where I thought I'd be in. You helped me find the internship most suitable to the degree I took. I was well taken care of them. I was respected not only because I am your niece but because you're a respected person at work... and I saw that.

Now that you're back in the Father's arms, we are glad that you're no longer suffering from pain. We don't know how we're going to ease the hurt inside but we are comforted by the fact that your light will now shine above us, and that you're happily in peace now. We promise to continue loving each other and we will always take care of the people you left behind. We will always look after your wife and your children. It might take a while for everyone to feel better, but when we do, know that it doesn't mean we forget you.

Until we meet again, Tito. Thank you for everything. We love you.

Always,

Your Arianne

Safely Home

"When you lose someone that you love, take comfort in knowing that they are now with God."

Three deaths in three weeks. First, my high school classmate, Niqquo. Then Tito Dolphy. And now, Tito Bobie, the father of my good friend Kim.

I don't know what death means. I cannot define it unless I'm in the situation. But when I'm already there, how will I know? 

My friends and I shared a lot of happy moments together. Birthday parties, wedding days and other special gatherings, times of laughter and cheers. But now feels so different. Today is the first time we were all brought together to mourn, to grieve. And today we realized how important it is to celebrate life.

It's very hard for me to write this post. No words are coming out from my mind. What I want as of the moment is to comfort and hug my friend but I want Kim to take her time with her family. 

Losing a parent is something I cannot bear. I'm too afraid to accept the fact that one day it will also happen to me. I don't even want to think about it. I feel a pinch inside and a mini heart attack whenever I put myself into the shoes of others who are suffering from the loss of someone so important. 

Everyday, I guess, we should live life as if it's the last. Live for today, show our love to our dear parents in numerous ways. Let's hug them, kiss them, cherish them and appreciate them. For we will never know when they will be taken away from us. There may be times they annoy us and drive us nuts, but let us not forget who they are. 

To my dear Kimmie, we are here with you no matter what. We will always pray for you, for Ate Aron and Tita Amy. I also want to take this opportunity to share something to you and I hope it will make you feel better. It may not be now, but I hope, sooner. I love you.

SAFELY HOME

I am home in Heaven, dear ones;

Oh, so happy and so bright!

There is perfect joy and beauty

In this everlasting light.

All the pain and grief is over,

Every restless tossing passed;

I am now at peace forever,

Safely home in Heaven at last.

Did you wonder I so calmly

Trod the valley of the shade?

Oh! But Jesus' love illumined

Every dark and fearful glade.

And He came Himself to meet me

In that way so hard to tread;

And with Jesus' arm to lean on,

Could I have one doubt or dread?

Then you must not grieve so sorely,

For I love you dearly still:

Try to look beyond earth's shadows,

Pray to trust our Father's Will.

There is work still waiting for you,

So you must not idly stand;

Do it now, while life remaineth--

You shall rest in Jesus' land.

When that work is all completed,

He will gently call you Home;

Oh, the pleasure of that meeting,

Oh, the joy to see you come!

♥,

Marianne

I Love You

Aside from the Grammys, there are only two things trending worldwide now: Valentines Day and Whitney Houston. Love and death.

I don't know how to relate these two in a single post. But everytime I hear things about Whitney's sudden death, I think about love. And I would still think about love even if it's not Valentines Day tomorrow. Her passing is just too soon. So soon.

I'm not a big fan of her but I love her and her music. I know, I know. I'm one of the few who just became a fan of her because her name stole the limelight once again. You got me? I mean, if she's still alive, I bet there will only be 4 out of 10 who will listen to her I Will Always Love You or The Greatest Love Of All performances or her The Star Spangled Banner rendition. There will only be a few who would want to watch The Bodyguard again, and there will be more than a few who would criticize her for being a drug dependent, who would say "I'd rather listen to Adele than blah blah blah." Admit it. I'm not a hater. In fact, I'm really, really, really sad that she died soon. And we all just professed our love for her now that she's gone, now that she can no longer hear our sobs and see our tears.

Now, do we really have to wait for someone's death before we appreciate his presence? Do we really have to wait for that moment where all we can ever say is, "It's too late..." and/or "I would've/could've/should've done this/that?"

I appreciate life. I know for a fact that one of the main reasons why I can't save enough money is I buy impulsively the things I don't really need. I spend way too much on things that I want because I hate regrets. But I learn so much from being such a freak like this. I value money when I'm about to get broke. And then I always end up telling myself, "At least I bought this." Please don't understand this the other way around. Living, for me, is not spending. I just have to say this because I believe that life's too short to be wasted only on regrets, on what ifs. Do things that can make you happy whatever it takes. LIVING IS ALL ABOUT MAKING NOT THE RIGHT DECISIONS, BUT MAKING THE DECISIONS YOU THINK ARE RIGHT. It's all about living life the way you want your life to be. It's all about saying yes to the things we want to do, to have, to feel. Living is loving.

When's the last time you hugged your mother? When's the last time you smelled her hair after her tiring day? How about your father, when's the last time you kissed his cheeks? When's the last time you shared a story with him the way he read you bedtime stories when you're still young?

When's the last time you let your sister borrow your favorite bag, shared a favorite food with your brother? When's the last time you went out with your cousins and uttered that they're the truest friends we could ever have in life?

When's the last time you gave a hand to your colleagues who are in need? When's the last time you smiled at the guards who open the doors of your workplace for you? When's the last time you offered a snack to the attendants who clean your desk before you start your day at the office?

When's the last time you hung out with your friends? When's the last time you had dinner with your dearest high school friends who never, ever let you down? When's the last time you had a picture taken with your college friends who helped you during your final years in school?

When's the last time you heard stories against you, when's the last time you heard praises and appreciated your existence?

When's the last time you forgave those who hurt you?

When's the last time you said thank you for the simplest joys you received and for the things you have prayed for which has now finally came true?

When's the last time you said "I love you."?

Please don't wait for that special day before you give your mom a bouquet of flowers, your dad his favorite drink, your other half a special gift.

Appreciate the people who are with you now. Appreciate the singers who give us wonderful music to listen to. Appreciate your bosses, your teachers, the people you see everyday. Give your smile to everyone. Appreciate life. Live life. Love life!

"Find your strength in love," said Whitney Houston. And now that she's gone, may she find peace, joy and love in the hearts of those who love her. May God bless her beautiful soul. Rest in peace, ma'am.

And after reading this, may we all find a way to let our loved ones feel needed, loved and appreciated.

I LOVE YOU.

♥,

Marianne

Christmas With Christ

A week before Christmas, the southern part of our country was hit by a tropical storm named Sendong. It took away 600 (and counting) lives of our fellowmen particularly in Cagayan de Oro, Iligan, Bukidnon, Compostela Valley, Negros Oriental, Zamboanga del Norte and Surigao del Sur.

It tears my heart to see them suffer when in fact, they should be merry and ready to celebrate the coming of Christ. It's going to be traumatic to most of the people there, compared to us here who are blessed enough to be alive today, preparing our presents and receiving gifts from people, enjoying our everyday existence, attending parties and busy planning what to wear and cook on the eve of Christmas day.

From the amount of rainfall to signal warnings, lack of evacuation plans and local government preparation to illegal logging (which they said primarily caused the flash flood), no one should be blamed alone. We are all held responsible for this. Christmas or not, this tragedy pinches us right at the bottom of our hearts. I also grieve for those who survived the catastrophe but mourn the loss of their loved ones.

My subscription to a free daily devotion called God’s Minute sent me a very striking message a day ago. This perfectly fits those who are suffering from the loss of a loved one this Christmas. If not, the message encourages the subscribers to forward this piece to those in distress.

"My First Christmas In Heaven"

  I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below
  With tiny lights, like Heaven's stars, reflecting on the snow
  The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away the tear
  For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

 I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear
  But the sounds of music can't compare with the Christmas
  choir up here.  I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices
  bring.  For it is beyond description, to hear the angels sing.

  I know how much you miss me, I see the pain inside your heart
  But I am not so far away, We really aren't apart.
  So be happy for me, dear ones, You know I hold you dear.
  And be glad I'm spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

  I sent you each a special gift, from my heavenly home above.
  I sent you each a memory of my undying love.
  After all, love is a gift more precious than pure gold.
  It was always most important in the stories Jesus told.

  Please love and keep each other, as my Father said to do.
  For I can't count the blessing or love he has for each of you.
  So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear
  Remember, I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ
  this year.
                                                                   Author Unknown

I just read this today because I was not able to check my email this past weekend and upon reading it this morning, I found myself crying. I pray for those who are burdened, those who are battling with courage that they may be able to see the light.

“And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, not crying, neither shall there be any pain: for the former things are passed away.” (Revelations 21:4)

P.S.: I recommend that you subscribe to God's Minute, too! It's free, click here to subscribe.

Shorty

April 16, 2011 -- The day my sister and I got this MacBook Pro I'm currently using now. ♥ 

We can't get off our hands from it. It's like a dream come true. It's definitely a sweet life we're living. I actually expected it to come since Ate and I had sleepless nights deciding if we are going to buy this or not. It's a choice of DSLR, flying abroad, a Louis Vuitton bag or this. But MacBook Pro definitely topped the list. We bought it yesterday. End of the story.

It's somehow a good sign that we are able to get the things we want in a good way. One of my favorite books, Tuesdays with Morrie, taught me a looooot of things about life as a whole. Family, material things, career, relationships, aging, money, power,  living life and DEATH. To quote Mitch Albom's book, "Don't cling to things, because everything is impermanent." Yes, I am only human, and like everyone else, I desire for things I don't actually need. But I make sure that even if I can survive without this certain thing, I will use this in a good way when I possess it. 

Hearing a young actor's sudden death this morning reminded me of how short life is. That it's unpredictable, full of surprises. "Dream as if you're gonna live forever and live as if you're gonna die today." Tell your parents how much you love them and how thankful you are for having them. Show your friends how important they are to you. Kiss and embrace your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife and remind them that you'll be loving them until the end of time. Forgive your enemies. Say sorry to those you've hurt. Lastly, do whatever you want to do. Buy everything you can afford, give what you can share and mean every word you say. 

"We need to forgive ourselves for all the things we didn't do, all the things we should have done. You can't get stuck on the regrets of what should have happened." 

-Tuesdays with Morrie

PS: Rest in peace, AJ Perez.